A little bit about me, someone who never believed in online dating but madly believed in love. Like a 16 year old, still waiting and wanting to meet her love once again in this lifetime. My friends don’t understand, they ask why? Why give up your freedom, your peace, your time…. I would always respond, because in my dreams my love is never a hinderance to any of that, he’s the delicious addition to my already lovely life. My life is amazing, full of love and laugher with my friends, kids and family, there’s no denying that. However, what married people take for granted is that constant companion, the person that is their source of comfort, support and love. The person you can always turn to when life sometimes smacks you around, and you have no one to help pick you up, so you pat yourself on your back and say “don’t worry love, it will all be ok soon enough”.
Right before the quarantine, I had gone to Mexico and met a lovely couple in their late 50’s that had just gotten married, having met online. So spending time with them, gave me the inspiration to join with the hope I’d find my match, just as they had. The last day in Mexico, in the airport I activated my account and a week later in California I met “Neal Aldridge”, as he was about to give up and leave the site.
It was an instant connection, we joked, we laughed, we exchanged more pictures and videos, and this went on day and night. Since we were in quarantine and locked in our homes, we talked about how perfect it was that we could actually connect with the heart, mind and soul. No need to distract ourselves with the physical until we knew our deepest dreams and desires. “Neal” gave me advice, since we shared the same line of work as he was an international architect and awaiting news of receiving 5 or 6 contracts overseas that he had bid on. Since my work was a real estate developer, there couldn’t of been a better fit. We exchanged websites and dreams of combining our future business plans. He had a 9 year old daughter and a dog, and we talked about my daughters, our parenting jokes, and roles.
For a month, Neal was my best friend, my love, and the person I had envisioned sharing my life with in the near future. Then he announced that he had gotten the contract in his home town in Amsterdam and he would have to go to meet with the inspector and contractor, however, he had hesitation about going because of our connection. I laughed and said don’t be silly, our connection was established already and we made plans to meet somehow upon his return, a week later.
Neal sent me his itinerary, and assured me he would wrap up business because he was looking forward to starting his life in L.A. as I was going to help him find a house so that he would settle here permanently.
Upon his arrival he called to say he had landed, I said I knew already because I had tracked his KLM flight. Neal sent me pictures of his food on the flight and videos with his daughter at the hotel as they visited the spa. All seemed relatively perfect and my dream life was still on track and intact.
The next day he informed me that he couldn’t access his bank accounts because of his locations and needed my help in paying for a warehouse and shipment. I felt honored that he trusted me with confidential information to access his account and transfer large sums of money to 2 different vendors. I somehow felt uneasy at how easily he trusted me with the contents of his account. But I thought he just knew I was not a deceptive type of human, because of our connection, or maybe he just wanted to establish further trust.
Then that Wednesday morning, he again said he needed my help in accessing his account one last time, as he needed to secure a bigger warehouse for his shipment.
I agreed since it had been successful two other previous times. However, after 2 failed attempts at the transfer of rather a much smaller amount, his account was blocked. He said he would contact the bank and call me back. At this time, my alert radar and antenna went up…… in my mind I pleaded with God saying “please when he calls back please don’t have him ask me to transfer the money from my account” PLEASE GOD!
Alas, he called back and just as I had feared he asked for me to transfer the amount from my bank account. This moment when I realized, the Neal that I had loved in such a short time was confiscated by this unknown human that had no heart!
So I asked in disgust: “Neal, how many others have you done this to? And do you really think I’m this stupid”? So he called back and said I had insulted him, then I said I’m sorry if I have, but can we do a FaceTime or Zoom to confirm? He declined, because the insult was too much for him…….. But at this time, my dream bubble had burst into a million pieces. How could a man with over $2,500,000.00 in his account have trouble with accessing what he needed in conducting such business?
At first I was angry, disappointed, disgusted, and of course hurt.
How could a God I so deeply believed in have taken me for such a ride? When all I wanted was to open my heart fully and experience love.
Then, after a day of releasing all the emotions that came up, I decided I would thank “Neal Aldridge” or the person that claimed his persona.
Thank you “Neal Aldridge”
For allowing the almost full physical manifestation of what I have dreamt about.
For allowing me to hear a voice that sings me to sleep for 30 nights.
To say “I love you, my love” as the moon shines in the sky thereby giving rise to the sun in the morning light.
For my experience of a love that is out there in form, minus the part where the human greed for money supersedes any notion of the heart.
For the ability to convince and reassure my mind that someone out there dreams of the same dream I do, each and every night.
And if it wasn’t this time, then I have come closer than I imagined just a few months back. For allowing me to realize my resilience and determination that no one, not even YOU impersonating “Neal Aldridge” can take my dream from me.
A sad little man, with a heart that can only impersonate love, will not have the power to take away what I demand from the Universe.
I forgive you, and wish you the same kind of love you can only impersonate.
Hence, your charade only made what I dream come to life in full affect and this I know, that the next time I experience the same kind of love it will be for a lifetime.
Divine dreams and desires can never be taken by those who have no concept of the power of love and light in their heart.