The Impermanence of Life
As I walked into the well lit room where my father has been bedridden on the same couch since he got home from the hospital 2 weeks ago, I realize the strong, powerhouse of a man that my mother, 2 brothers and I looked to for guidance, strength, and assurance has now become a victim to a body that can no longer serve him.
I’ve watched him cry, I’ve watched him in agony, in frustration, in anger and finally in despair. I watch my mom try in desperation to save the man she has been in love with for over 50 years.
It’s quite heartbreaking watching the life they once knew come to a crashing halt with only one dreaded result to anticipate.
The impermanence of life……. the impermanence of each day…. the impermanence of a legacy created.
A few days ago my father confided in me and asked why at the end of his life this is what he had to look forward to, the breakdown of his body, the suffering of his mind and soul.
Hence, his conclusion that his life was all for nothing, if this was the end.
As I looked at his now fragile and pale face, I couldn’t help but smile at how wrong he was….
I reminded him that his love and strength had blessed his children with a life well-lived. His wisdom had inspired many in their troubled times. His ambition and courage had been my own inspiration to continue in his footsteps of building and creating homes. His eternal love and dedication to my mother and his family had instilled values in my own ability to nurture and guide my own children. How could all of that be a waste?
The impermanence can be a treasure if we see life as nothing that can be held onto.
Then we won’t be so tempted to compete, cheat, deceive to gain some illusion of control.
The only constant in life has always been, and will always remain, CHANGE.
As I look at my father in the midst of making his transition, I thank him each night for the lessons, the love, the strength, and the laughs. None of it was a waste, none forgotten, and none unacknowledged. With the impermanence comes appreciation, gratitude and evolvement.
Thank you for choosing to spend this life with me, I will reside in your energy each and every night when I sleep. Your life will be one of my legacies I leave behind.